This morning, Ryan made everyone scrambled eggs and cinnamon rolls, and after we ate he made a drink called sahlab, a Middle Eastern "pudding," made with milk, sugar, vanilla, etc, topped with cinnamon and I think pistachios. It tasted like cinnamon-y warm milk. It made definitely made me full for awhile haha. After that we opened presents..there were a lot more under the tree this year, it seemed like. Of course Curti had to come check everything out lol. Jo got me a bowl he MADE with Curti's name on it and pawprints on the bottom, with glacial blue colors! It's SO cool, it looks professionally made! I also got cat themed PJs and socks, a Doordash gift card, a Barnes and Noble gift card (which I got early, because it was going to snow the next day and then get super cold again), a booklight (yay, I can read on the bus if it's too dark now!), a bookstore jigsaw puzzle, some plush dragons from How to Train Your Dragon (I guess mom knows how much I love that movie haha), and an Amazon gift card from Dana (there might be more, but I can't remember at the moment :P). A great haul for everyone this year! Later we had a pot roast dinner..Ryan made SUPER fancy carrots, with cream fraiche and other stuff on them..I am definitely full now lol (mom got a popcorn maker, and thought about using it tonight, but we are WAY too full..maybe we'll try again tomorrow :P). Last year mom and I had the stomach flu during Christmas, and had to delay opening presents..this Christmas was definitely way more fun LOL

( pics from the day! )

22. Some things you want to start doing: Probably do housework more often..I'm just so tired a lot of the time though :P

23. The most valuable lesson you've learned this year: I am stubborn and can definitely get through a lot..it was definitely a hard year, especially with Abby dying and the move at work. I hope 2026 will be better!

24. Your favorite holiday traditions: Opening presents, yummy food, listening to Trans-Siberian Orchestra, (not a Christmas song, but one of my favorite songs right now is "Night Castle"..I love the guitars and of course the lyric "stairways hidden behind curtains" haha), etc

25. Your feelings and beliefs about the holidays: They're exhausting, but fun too. The stores start putting out Christmas things earlier every year, it seems like O_o

Today I turned 36, woohoo! I know I'm getting old because sometimes I forget what I'm talking about in the middle of a conversation LOL. Both Ryan/Jo and dad got me the same cat card from Barnes and Noble haha! I got two gift cards too, so I'll have fun buying lots of books there. :P Vicki and her boyfriend Sam came over in the afternoon, their first time going to my parents' house and meeting Ryan and Jo! Curti was a little overwhelmed by her loud voice, but still walked over to her. I'm glad he doesn't hide when he sees strangers. We went to Chena's Alaskan Grill for dinner, my traditional birthday restaurant spot, which was super fun! Vicki is so much fun to hang out with! After good food and conversation we went back to my parents' house and had cupcakes and ice cream, yum! Vicki got me a game called Exploding Cats, which I'd seen before but never played..we'll have to play it together sometime! I'll miss working with her, but I'm glad to be great friends with her too!

( some pics from the night! )

Mom's birthday is next week, so it'll be my turn taking her to dinner, yay! I can't believe she'll be 70 O_o

7. What adventure do you want to go on? I want to brave the Drake Passage and sail to Antarctica and see the sights!

8. If you owned a store, what would you sell? Books, obviously :P

Happy New Year! Yesterday my parents and I watched the ball drop, and the London fireworks, which is one of the COOLEST things I've ever seen! It was so intricate and I'd never seen fireworks do some of those things before, like spiraling around the London Eye! That must have taken a LOT of planning. Then mom and I watched the new Endurance documentary (very good! Even on the bottom of the ocean, the ship still looks proud <3). When it turned midnight, I held Abby and said "you're 20 this year!! You're such a good kitty!" hehe

Today we finally had Christmas with Ryan and Jo, who both wore masks and gloves..surely we're not contagious by now?? I got a Celtic knot bookmark and a giftcard to Barnes and Noble from Ryan and Jo, and from mom some fleece jackets, pants, glacier soap, a little kit with scissors and stuff to go in my new desk, cat sticky notes and a back scratcher mom said I can also use to get things down from places I can't reach haha. Dad got everyone cool fancy hand painted dishware from Poland! I got Ryan a butter dish in the shape of a coffin with a skull on it, which he LOVED. He'd probably be happy if Halloween lasted all year :P

( i still need to find a meme, but here's a book survey! )

1. At what age did you discover you had a favorite color? Not sure..
2. What type (genre) of film do you prefer to see in a theater versus one you'd watch at home? I definitely like to see the big "epic" ones in the theater, but I'd watch them at home too
3. What's your oldest object or item since childhood? I think dad has kept all my baby stuff for some reason, which is in Payson. Mom's asked him to get rid of it, but he can't seem to
4. In what book would you insert yourself as a side character or friend to the protagonist? Hmm..I might fit well in Narnia lol, I could talk to animals!
5. What's your favorite shape or type of cloud? Cumulonimbus, lenticular, happy puffy looking ones LOL

Yesterday I saw Wonka with mom and Ryan and Jo..how fun! I love Timothée Chalamet

*swoons* He did such a good job! I saw the trailer for Dune Part 2..looks intense! More Timothée Chalamet for me LOL

It got above 0 this week, which is awesome. Hopefully that was the last cold spell lol

( feb 3-9 )

1. If you could change one minor thing about your life right now, what would you choose? Hmmm..I'd rather have a slightly different schedule at work, but Lucie said to wait until the holidays are over to decide, which is fair
2. What’s your favorite bubblegum? I absolutely hate EVERYTHING about chewing gum..the sound when people are chewing and popping it, the smell it leaves behind, the stickiness..ugh *shudder*
3. When did you most recently need an unexpected change of clothing? *shrugs*
4. Where do you keep your (currency) change? In a pocket in my backpack and in a coin bank in the shape of a person playing guitar haha
5. When did you most recently need a change of scenery? When I went to Puerto Rico

Today Jo and I saw The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes..amazingly, it's SUPER faithful to the book. I love that Peter Dinklage is in it, and Viola Davis's portrayal of evil Dr. Gaul was excellent too (her white-red outfit was absolutely on purpose lol). The Hunger Games section was probably the best part of the movie..so intense! I like seeing trailers of upcoming movies, but an hour of those and other ads is kind of annoying (NOT seeing Imaginary *shudders*), but the concessions people are SO slow that at least you don't have to worry about missing part of the movie lol

( 24 – Flossing Day: Do you floss regularly? )

Last night, Carmen did my hair! She has a little salon in her house, which is cool. She did a very good job, and my hair was so soft!

Today we went back to Castillo Serralles..it was built during the 1930s for Juan Eugenio Serrallés, whose family owned a distillery (still do, actually). It's a museum now. In the gift shop, they just gave you samples of their alcohol to try..that would never happen in the US!! Their rum was SUPER strong, and kinda made my lips numb! Unfortunately, you weren't allowed to take pictures inside (we had to take a guided tour, and that would probably slow the tour down), which was unfortunate, because it was GORGEOUS, and the antique furniture and items were so cool! There was even a four-poster bed!! I actually gasped when I saw it LOL, and mom was like "uh oh, Heather's melting!" I had a feeling there would be one in there. ;) Thankfully, there's a picture of it online that I saved. After that we went to the lookout point nearby (Camilla joined us after she got out of school), which gave nice views of Ponce, the mountains and Caja de Muertos. Then we went to the Japanese gardens, which was pretty. It's really sad, but there are a lot of stray animals running around..mostly cats and dogs, but I've seen horses and chickens too. I wish they had homes. :( Then we went back to the house to pack...

...because today is our last day in Puerto Rico (where does the time go??). It's a pretty place with nice people, but too hot for me! I'm definitely going to miss all the fresh drinks I've gotten (orange juice, lemonade, etc), they are SO good! It's normal here to wish someone "buen provecho" (enjoy your food) when eating, even complete strangers. We were eating ice cream at a park and two people who walked by said it! It was cool to meet the rest of Jo's family, and see a new place. It's weird though, because I've slept better here than I ever do at home! Usually it takes me a long time to go to sleep, but not here. Maybe because the room is air conditioned, and I feel cozy under the blankets? I'll be interested to see how I sleep when I get back home lol. We're actually staying the night in Seattle tomorrow, since we have an eight hour layover, so we'll get to Fairbanks on Saturday. It might be hard to go back to winter, but it'll be nice to see Abby again. <3 It was a great trip!

( pics from today! )

2 – Stress Awareness Day: How stressful is your everyday life? How well do you deal with stress? Do you have any tried-and-true strategies for handling stress? It can depend, but usually it's manageable. I might have to just wait it out, or take Clonazepam if it's really bad

On Friday, we went to the beach houses we were staying at..they're art Caba Roja, about an hour and 20 minutes away, on the south part of the island. It was POURING rain when we got there..fun unloading the car and trying not to get everything soaked :P (of course it lessened when we were finished haha). Of the 20 some cabins, our group had 18 of them! (Ours was cabin 16, how lucky!) There was Jo's family, friends, friends of friends..Jo didn't even know everyone haha. I really like his niece, Camilla..she is so nice! We can't really speak to each other because of the language barrier, but smiling and waving at me says a lot too! Mom, Jo, Ryan and I got our bathing suits on and took a walk on the beach. I was VERY uncomfortable, because I'm used to covering everything in Alaska lol. The water was pretty warm! We went in the woods some and saw some crabs! I tried touching one and it showed me its claw, like it was saying "don't you dare" LOL. Because of the rain, the evening was very pleasant, the coolest I'd felt here! There were some feral cats around too, aww. We had dinner, hung out some, and then went to bed because we were all tired. Everyone else was still outside playing and listening to music and stuff..hooray, we're the Introvert Cabin! LOL. The beds weren't too bad actually, though I got sand in it haha

Yesterday we had breakfast..even at 9 or 10 something, it's really hot!! It was a beautiful sunny day though, the best we've had so far! Ryan looked 100% miserable..he hates being around people, being too hot, sand..I felt bad for him. Someone gave Jo a book, and when he walked to Ryan he showed him the weed edible gummies the person hid in the book..I tried a piece of one too, because why not? (I just read recreational marijuana is illegal in Puerto Rico..oops. D:) The aftertaste was gross though. I felt a little shaky, but pretty happy haha. Mom, Jo and I went swimming..yay I've been in the Caribbean Sea! There was literally an underwater path leading to a swimming hole (it was shallow a long way out!). The water was so warm! Other people were there, and some people spoke English, so it was cool talking to more of Jo's family (both his siblings speak English because they went to the same school, but Jo is the most fluent since he lives in the US). Throughout the day, we'd go back to shore to eat lunch or something, then go back out (too hot not to!). It was fun jumping right as a wave was breaking! Someone brought snacks, so we had a picnic in the middle of the sea haha. At lunch, Ryan seemed happier, and Jo said he took him to get coffee (he didn't used to like coffee, but it seems he can't live without it now :P). He even went swimming after that! It started raining and mom was like "oh no, we're getting wet!!" LOL. I put on sunscreen, but got sunburned on the places I missed..it's not too bad though

Eventually we got tired of being in the water, and hung out and had dinner and stuff. I guess every weekend they have karaoke and partying and stuff at the nearby town, so a bunch of us went to check it out. A lot of people had Halloween costumes or accessories on, which was fun to see..I saw Mirabel from Encanto, t-rexes, a drag queen dressed as a sexy angel haha, a phoenix, etc. There were a lot of feral cats begging for food..they would just walk in a restaurant and sit by a table, hoping to get a treat. We watched the karaoke for awhile..the angel absolutely slayed that haha. I didn't know any of the songs, but it was a nice festive atmosphere, though too loud for me to speak much. Not my normal scene, but it's alright once in awhile. After that we headed back to the cabin and went to bed..it still felt like I was swaying in the sea haha. It stormed and rained pretty much all night

Today we had breakfast at a little place at the nearby town..my orange juice was freshly squeezed, and the potato/onion/pepper mix was SOO good. Then we went back to pack up..there were dead cockroaches outside. D: On the drive back I saw feral cats, loose chickens..interesting place lol. Our core group had lunch at a restaurant by the ocean, and then drove back to Ponce. It's interesting..people here leave "s" off the end of their words, so they say "gracia" instead of "gracias" (like saying "goin'" instead of "going" in English). I very easily adopt people's sayings, so now I'm doing it haha (it's super hard for me to say thank you in English, but somehow can easily say it in Spanish). I'm definitely tired now, but it was a fun weekend!

( beach pics!! )

28 – International Animation Day: What is your favourite animated film or TV series? The Hunchback of Notre Dame, How to Train Your Dragon, etc

29 – Internet Day and Cyber-security Awareness Month: Today is both national Internet day and Cyber-security Awareness Month. Are you, or do you try to be, fairly vigilant about how you use the internet, and keeping yourself safe online? Do you tend to use the same password across most sites? Have you ever suffered a malware infection? I try, though I do like to use similar passwords I can remember. Yes, but not much anymore since using Macs

On Saturday, dad drove us to the airport. I guess in June United sent mom an itinerary change (Dulles instead of Newark) and she told the ticket agent..their system still showed Newark and she couldn't change another company's itinerary, so mom had to call United. The guy on the phone tried to fix it, but couldn't, so we had to check our bags just to Seattle and pick them up there. I saw a couple glaciers on the flight to Seattle, but the wing was right across from me, so it was hard to see them. We picked up our bags in Seattle and then went to United to check them the rest of the way (I'm glad we all have TSA Pre-Check, it makes going through security much easier! The Seattle flight left at 11 something (yaay, redeyes :/) and got to Dulles at 7 something. I got a tiny bit of sleep, but it's just so hard sleeping sitting up! On one of these flights I was reading a sci-fi book I brought, and suddenly it mentioned Puerto Rico, and how a character went to Caja de Muertos (literally "box of death," but it's usually translated as "Coffin Island," because it looks like someone in a coffin). I was like "huh, what are the chances of that??" When I landed, I Googled the island, which, incredibly, is off the coast of Ponce!!! What are the chances the book I've been reading (which mostly takes place in space) just HAPPENS to mention a place near Jo's hometown?!? Wow. The flight to San Juan took about four hours..we were definitely all tired of being stuffed on planes all day! On the flights I watched Murder on the Nile (I'd been wanting to watch it, since I recently read the book), Elemental and a good portion of Luca

After we landed, I walked outside and was completely overpowered by how HUMID it was! It felt like I was eating it! Crazy. Jo picked us up and drove us the hour and a half to Ponce. We drove through a crazy storm, with cloud-to-ground lightning and crazy loud thunder (maybe part of Hurricane Tammy?). I asked Jo if he had been to Caja de Muertos, and he said that he had! It's a nature reserve and has an abandoned lighthouse. As we neared Ponce, he pointed to the left and said "there is is!" OMG I can't get over that coincidence haha! It indeed looks like someone laying in a coffin. Guess I brought the right book to read. :P There are giant red letters saying "PONCE" right before you drive in. We got to Jo's mom's (Carmen) house, and Carmen and Jo's brother Jonathan greeted us (they visited Alaska a few years ago). When I walked into the house, I was surpised at how WHITE it was..the walls, floor, curtains, etc..blinding haha. It also looked spotless, which made me terrified to touch anything haha (Jo wasn't kidding when he said his mom loved order and cleans the house a lot :P). There are actually marks on the floor from when they killed centipedes with machetes haha! Jo's cousin was also over, and I showed her a pic of Abby and said "mi gato Abby!" At first mom was too scared to try to speak any Spanish..I attributed my confidence to Prozac (best medicine ever!!). It's weird though..when you try to speak Spanish to people here they look at you funny and are generally uncomfortable. After we settled in, a couple of Jo's aunts and more cousins came over (most of the family lives nearby). Only Jo and Jonathan speak English fluently..Carmen can read English, but only can say a few words. Still cool to see the people Jo talks about though! We had dinner, relaxed more, and mom and I were so tired we went to bed at 8 something haha. I fell asleep alright, but then woke up at 11 or 12 something feeling like I had been beaten up..my body ached (especially my back and butt), and my nerves felt like they were shocking me. I knew I wasn't sick though, because I've experienced similar things when traveling and being overstimulated. I laid awake miserable for a couple hours, but finally I knew I had to take Clonazepam and Motrin. I hadn't taken any Clonazepam since July and felt proud of my record, but this was one of those times I just knew I had to take some. I was able to go back to sleep after the meds kicked in (imagine how I would have felt if I hadn't been on Prozac!)

This morning I was half-awake, and all of a sudden felt an earthquake! It was funny, because yesterday mom was like "NO hurricanes or earthquakes while we're here!" The earth said "challenge accepted" LOL. I went back to sleep, woke up at 10 something, said "NOPE," and finally got up around 11:30..I definitely needed the sleep though. After breakfast we decided to check out a bookstore..on the way, it started POURING rain! The streets were like rivers, and my feet got soaked walking to the bookstore haha. The store had some books in English, but most were in Spanish..it was interesting seeing the Spanish translation of popular titles though. We also explored downtown, got some ice cream, and went to a gift shop. In certain places, you can still see the damage from Hurricane Maria (2017)..sad. There are cool old colorful historical buildings downtown. After that we went to the store..it was interesting seeing food unique to Puerto Rico (tamarinds, for one). After that we went back to the house, relaxed (I felt achy again, and took more Motrin, which helped some), and then went with Carmen to Hard Rock Cafe! A local band performed when we were there, they were actually pretty good! I got a shirt and pin for my backpack, yay! There were really cool frog sounds in the trees near the restaurant. Then we drove home. I'll probably go to bed soon after posting this lol, traveling is tiring :P

( some pics! )

21 – International Walk to School Month: Did you walk to school as a child? Are parents today too over-protective to let their children walk to school? I did when I was in 1st to 3rd grade, but then they rezoned me to a school further away..made no sense, but I guess "they" do what they want :P

22 – Colour Day: National Colour Day focuses on the impact colour has on each of us. Beyond having a favourite colour, are there colours that evoke specific feelings or memories in you? Colours you avoid or dislike because they remind you of something you'd rather forget, or give off "bad vibes"? Is there a colour that immediately brightens your mood, or calms you? Do you decorate your home with lots of bright colours? How important is colour in your life? OMG too many questions haha. Blue reminds me of glaciers. Hmm..I don't think so?? I mean I don't like pink, but that's just a preference lol. Blue and purple can make me happy Not really. It's definitely a nice thing to have!

23 – iPod Day: Have you ever owned an iPod (or other portable media player)? Do you remember those first songs? Do you still listen to them? What have you become in the days that have past, and do you smile with nostalgia or cringe with embarrassment as you remember your favorites from ages gone by? I did in high school..there were a bunch of metal songs on it. Not really. I smile and cringe at the same time LOL

This weekend there's a tattoo expo in Fairbanks..Ryan and Jo already had an appointment for today, but I hadn't known about it, so I went with them. Someone was available for me right away, so this is what I got!

Very cooool (haha). The coloring in definitely hurt more than the outlining, but it's such a nice color! I was finished before Jo (he got these swirly lines on his leg), so Ryan drove me home while his was being finished. Somehow getting tattoos is addictive, even if it is painful :P

Since dad has neuropathy, he doesn't have a lot of feeling in his feet, and two or three months ago he discovered one of his toes had an infection. He tried antibiotics, which didn't work, and his whole foot became red and swollen. He had an x-ray done, which showed the infection had basically eaten his bone away, so today he had to get the toe removed in Anchorage. It went well, and mom sent me a picture of him hanging out outside a few minutes ago. Hopefully the recovery won't be too painful!

It still amazes me how well Prozac works for me..I'm so much happier and can enjoy things again, like work, going out to eat with mom and Ingrid on Wednesday (yay! We love when Ingrid visits, she's so fun lol), etc..before, even the sound of rustling papers was overwhelming, I was always angry and dreaded just waking up in the morning, and my face always hurt from being tense all the time. It's so relieving not being miserable all the time! I've learned a lot and have come a long way..things that used to stress me out (like unexpectedly having to cover the register at work) no longer do..now I just happily go with the flow. I had forgotten how to have fun. I'm finally getting my CPAP on Tuesday, so hopefully that'll make things even better! I'm grateful to everyone who refused to give up on me <3

( aug 12-18 )

1. Besides work, what takes up the biggest portion of your day? Sleep, going online..
2. If you could do anything as a career, what would it be? Maybe owning a bookstore..
3. Do you feel too much emphasis is placed on having a career? Maybe, but it's important for a lot of people to think about at least
4. If you have a college/university degree, are you working in your field? I don't
5. What would be the most boring job to have and why? Finance, accounting stuff, for one..not interesting and too many numbers haha

I'm going back to work on Thursday (June 1)! I'm definitely not 100% better, but still better than I was before (I'm still working on the sleep issue..I had an at-home sleep study done a couple nights ago, though I only slept for like 1.5 seconds haha..they're going to call me when a follow-up appointment becomes available). I'm going to work for a couple hours to see how I do, and go from there. I DEFINITELY needed that break though..I was an exhausted depressed mess haha. I suddenly felt ready to go back just recently though..like sitting around for five months was more than enough lol, and I was feeling guilty about not working when other people (like Jo) have been working so hard..I didn't want them to judge me. Denise said the customers will be so happy to see me again..they still ask when I'm coming back! There are a couple new people who started after I left, and even though I only met them a couple times when I've come in during a sale or whatever, THEY even said they missed me, even though I've never worked with them! Wow, I must have built a reputation haha. Even though money isn't everything, it'll still be nice to get paid again. :P I'm kinda nervous, but I hope I do well!

In October mom and I are going with Ryan and Jo to Puerto Rico to visit Jo's family! Mom and I met his mom and brother when they came to Alaska a few years ago, but they're the only ones we've met. It'll be cool to meet the rest of the family and see a new place! I hope it's not too hot though :P

( may 20-26 )