The past few days, this is what it's looked like outside:

Ice fog is "a suspension of numerous minute ice particles in the air," like exhaust..it can definitely smell bad (when I walked to work, the smell would get in my hair D:). It was -42 when I woke up yesterday morning! Today it's MUCH warmer, -13! It felt downright tropical LOL, and the ice fog went somewhere else. The National Weather Service said "Dec 2025 in Fairbanks was the 8th coldest and 12th snowiest Dec on record. Fairbanks has also seen 29 days+ of temps at or below −15°F." Crazy!

Ryan recently quit his job (probably the happiest I've ever seen him!), so he and Jo have been working hard turning his office into a lava tube/cave. How cool is it?

SUPER cool!!! That's amazing (they're going to fill the gaps at some point, I think). I'm really impressed that they did most of it without my parents' help. Here's another view:

So cool! Maybe he'll let me spend time in there too LOL

Tomorrow I go back to work! (2026 is already going by fast!) It feels like I had been at my parents' house a long time haha. Earlier Shelby texted Bill and I and asked us to come over to their building first for a quick meeting. I'm sure they just want to see us after the break and to meet the new manager, but I'm still panicking haha. I've never been good with the "I need to talk to later" thing. :P Bill said he's been sick the last couple of days, and isn't sure he'll make it in tomorrow. I felt like I was getting sick yesterday, OF COURSE because I was like "but I don't want to go back to work and real life!" I should know better by now lol. Luckily, after saying "wait, just kidding, I DO want to go back to work tomorrow!" some of the day yesterday, I feel better today. Phew! Hopefully he gets well soon. Hopefully it'll be busy since we've been closed since December and people miss us and are tired of being cooped inside lol (I definitely needed that break though, I was SO tired and worn out!)

( dec 3-5 )

Earlier my parents and I were having our regular Sunday strawberry milkshakes..we were by the pellet stove, and then dad walked over to the living room and said he saw a firetruck. Mom then walked over and must have said something about smoke, and then I came over, looked up and saw this:

Yikes! Mom said she saw flames, but it looked more like the sunset to me. We were worried someone was losing their house, right before Christmas..it was also -30, definitely not a good time for a fire. Mom and I bundled up and walked to the end of the street, where various first responder vehicles were. Here's a closer view:


Up close, we could tell it wasn't the house that was burning, phew! Mom asked a (very handsome :P) firefighter who walked by about the fire, and he said it was a shed, and that all the people, animals and the house were safe. I'm not sure how the fire started, but they got pretty lucky. I'm always thankful for firefighters, they are amazing!

Curti loves rolling around on my clean sheets!

He'll eat catnip, but it doesn't really do anything to him..clean sheets though? He's in heaven haha. He is an impressively long kitty too lol, wow :P

At work yesterday and Friday we were open until 7, but no one came in after 5:30, for both me and Bill..pointless staying open that late, but you can never know for certain. I won't be at work again until next year?? Oh my! It was definitely a crazy year for the bookstore, I hope 2026 is kinder!

Happy solstice! Tomorrow will be 7 seconds longer! :D

( dec 20-21 )

1. If you were Santa Claus, what might you change about your job without destroying the season’s traditions? I'd go through some type of a portal instead of down the chimney haha
2. If you were Santa Claus, what snacks would you like children to leave out for you? Chocolate chip cookies, gingerbread men, brownies, etc
3. If you were Santa Claus, how would you spend December 26? Sleeping for a very long time, and giving the reindeer some extra pets :P
4. If you were Santa Claus, what would you put under your own tree? Books, cat shirts, gift cards, etc
5. If you were Santa Claus, what songs would be on the playlist you listened to in your sleigh Christmas Eve? "Wizards in Winter," "Christmas Eve/Sarajevo," "A Mad Russian's Christmas" (I miiight like Trans-Siberian Orchestra haha), "The 12 Pains of Christmas" (such a fun parody!), etc

This is Curti's "I want to play!" face

He was looking at the laser pointer in my hand, he LOVES chasing the red dot haha (he's 1 year old this month, wow!!)

Yesterday at work Bill and Juella (the temporary manager) were talking about the move, and Bill said something about me taking time off in the middle of the move, and I chimed in and confirmed it because Shelby said everyone should take time off during the move, to get some rest so we're not overwhelmed. Juella was like "oh, Shelby said you guys blew them off and didn't come in!" WHAT!! I was there in the staff meeting when Shelby said to take time off and Vicki approved it ahead of time. Is that why they treat us so terribly?? That's a lie and SO messed up..everyone is definitely tired of Shelby and Lucie, ugh. At least today is another First Friday 50% off sale, where the bookstore is open until 8. Hopefully lots of people will come and do Christmas shopping!

I'm ALARMED at how many people I see wearing just a hoodie and jeans in below zero weather..that is so dangerous, what if your car breaks down, or somehow get stuck outside?? (Maybe they have extra clothes in their car, but still.) Wind chills as low as 55 below are expected in the next couple days. D: D: Good thing it's the weekend and mom can drive me to work, it would be awful standing outside in that!

( dec 3-5 )

1. What were some of the smells and tastes of your childhood? Chlorine, mac and cheese, pizza, mothballs, apple juice, etc
2. What did you have as a child that you do not think children today have? Hmmm..pogs, maybe? I wonder what happened to them, I haven't seen them in a long time haha
3. What elementary grade was your favorite? 5th..my teacher was cool and we got to take care of the class Guinea pigs!
4. What summer do you remember the best as a child? It's all kinda mixed up..lots of swimming, walks in the woods, traveling, etc over the years
5. What one piece of advice would you give to your younger self, and at what age? Don't be controlling, be patient! After 10 or so, when I'd be able to understand the concept

On Wednesday we had our Thanksgiving meal at work..it's not the same anymore since we're not in the same building, and some people I barely know, but the food was still really good! Lucie put up signs with everyone's name on them, and told us to write something you're thankful for for each person..I didn't get a chance to read all of mine, but someone wrote "outgoing" on mine. Uhhh..what?? That's probably the first time someone has described me that way haha, must have been one of the new employees. :P Yesterday was a lazy day at my parents house..I've been SO full these last couple days haha, definitely a food coma. :P Lucie gave Bill and I the option of working on Saturday, and we both said sure because long weekends can get boring haha. Hopefully customers will come in lol (thankfully, it's gotten busier since we've been taking donations and getting new books out, yay! I love how loyal people in Fairbanks are!)

( nov 22-28 )

1. What do you see when you are looking out of the window closest to you? A house, trees
2. Who was the last person who came into your room? Besides myself, maybe mom?
3. What is the most predominant colour around you? White, with blue mixed in
4. What is right behind you? A pillow and a wall
5. What is on today's calendar sheet? I worked, and now I'm relaxing at my parents' house. How is it Friday already??

Curti put his front paws on one of my bedposts, which touched the lights I have around it (he chewed the cord, so they don't work anymore *sniff*), and they lit up for a second or two! It was really cool! That's definitely when you know it's dry in Fairbanks :P

Another big donation day tomorrow at the bookstore! I hope we get LOTS of cool "new" books, everyone's beyond tired of looking at the ones that have been on the shelf since we moved haha. On Halloween, a kid recognized me from the bookstore, and a regular customer came in today and said one of her kids recognized me..I was like "that was your kid??" I was busy handing out candy and didn't get a good look at her. Her mom said one of her relatives lives on a nearby street, how cool! Definitely a small big state :P

( nov 10-14 )

1. Under what circumstances might you deliberately fail at a task you were perfectly capable of completing? Tiredness
2. Under what circumstances might you choose to completely cut off contact with a family member you currently love and respect? If they hurt me or Curti
3. Under what circumstances might you willingly give up every piece of modern technology you own and move to an off-grid location? Maybe if some apocalyptic thing happened, and it wasn't safe anywhere else (I'd definitely need someone else with me though lol)
4. Under what circumstances might you leave your job to take work paying half as much? If I was backstabbed or hurt in some other way
5. Under what circumstances might you agree to live the rest of your life without ever using spoken language again? Not sure..

Today at the bookstore we're trying a First Friday event, where most everything in the store is 50% off, and we're going to be open until EIGHT instead of 5:30! I get the 4-8 shift, because Bill definitely doesn't need to be riding his bike in the dark lol. The store has been dead all week, so I hope it's busy today!

( nov 2-7 )

These last couple months have been especially hard at work..everyone constantly complains and keep threatening to quit. You try to talk to Lucie or Shelby, who don't really listen and just want to be controlling. Business has slowed down a LOT, with customers telling us we NEED to get more new books in. Some good books came in last Thursday, but not enough. Now Bill and I are just to the point of just saying yes to donations, if it's just a box or something..I can't justify saying no anymore. I don't want everyone to forget about us (it's lonely with just Bill there, it was nice talking to my coworkers at the old building!). This has made me depressed, it's been hard to sleep, etc. I didn't think Lucie or Shelby would listen to my concerns, so I've kept it bottled up (not healthy!). It's hard to think of anything else except the state of work lately! Last weekend I took the washcloths we use to clean books to my parents' house to wash them, and brought them back Monday so I wouldn't have to haul them on the bus. I figured someone would be there training the new manager, and sure enough, Shelby and Lucie and Katrina were there, and gave me the weirdest looks! I said "here are the clean rags!" and Shelby said "but it's your day off!" When I told her I hadn't wanted to haul them on the bus, she said "oh." What, not even a thank you?! Then Katrina (who looked very overwhelmed) shook my hand and by now I was feeling super awkward (a common trait of autism is rehearsing conversations ahead of time, and being thrown off when the conversation goes in a different direction), so I said something dumb like "sorry, my sleeve is long." Omgggg. D: I was glad when I could escape back outside haha. I was hurt they didn't thank me. I thought I might have to quit, because I don't want to work with bullies who don't care! I thought I'd wait to see what Katrina was like...

...but when I got to work Tuesday she wasn't there, which I thought was super weird. Shelby and Lucie came over that afternoon without Katrina, and I was thought "oh no...," and that's when they said after training with her for a day and a half, they determined she would not be a good fit and decided not to hire her. Wha..WHAT?? Are you KIDDING ME?!? I took that to mean "she wasn't controlling and bossy like Shelby." If they're looking for someone so specific, it'll be impossible to hire someone (Vicky was perfect, but they drove her away..ugh). So I guess the hunt continues. Me and Bill also got an email about a mandatory staff meeting on Thursday..Lucie said it wasn't a bad thing, but I was still completely freaking out last night. For some reason, me and Bill just knew that Lucie was going to resign..

After a terrible night last night (it was definitely a Clonazepam night), I knew I HAD to talk to Lucie and Shelby today, I felt ready to explode! Lucie indeed told everyone she will be resigning (she wants to be closer to family). She set the "official" date to August of next year, so there's enough time for recruitment, training, etc (the president of the Board of Directors was there, and said they'd be talking about it at tonight's board meeting). I'm glad Shelby doesn't want to fill that position, that would be a nightmare. D: After the meeting, I told Lucie I needed to talk to her and..well..kind of unloaded everything all at once haha. I wasn't screaming or anything, but definitely adamant and firm lol. I mentioned my worries ("we NEED donations! The bookstore is dying! We and the customers are tired of looking at the same stock we've had since April!") and I was actually surprised and impressed at how calm both Shelby and Lucie were! Lucie was like "wow, you've obviously carried this burden for a long time!" and said we should have a meeting next week to talk everything over. She wondered why I didn't email her or tell her sooner..I didn't mention I've TRIED before and they didn't listen, but I did say I was terrified of confrontation and I was afraid I'd get fired for speaking my mind and replacing me. Shelby said "that's called retaliation, and that's illegal!" Phew haha. I do appreciate their calmness when talking with me, and we parted amicably..hopefully we'll have that meeting next week and can talk more about how to receive donations without getting overwhelmed. I was shaky after that, but felt SOO much better lol..Bill said I expressed myself well! I Doordashed a vanilla bean frappuccino and work was fine after that, and it even got a little busy! I keep telling myself things HAVE to get better eventually. It's definitely been a challenging year for the whole organization. "Things must improve," as Cherry's friend Wilson said!

Vicki's birthday was yesterday, and I also got the news her mom passed away. :( Poor Vicki, she's had a hard last few years! I really miss Vicki, and talking about curtains with her haha..I hope we can get dinner together sometime..

( pokemon update )

11. What makes you nervous? Public speaking, confrontation, calling someone, etc

12. Your oldest friend: I've known Meghan (we're friends on Facebook) since we were babies. She still lives in Texas and has a daughter who looks SO much like her!

13. A time when someone helped you: Dad rode the bus with me to scope out the route and make sure I was comfortable with it..very nice of him!

14. Something you never want to own: A bird..too loud and messy! I'd rather watch them be free outside lol

15. The first time you fell in love: In 9th grade, with a guy named Nick. He was super honorable, considerate and nice. I pined for him so much when we went to different schools. Weirdly enough, I had a dream a few days ago where he kissed me and said we should be together. That dream would have completely broke me when I was in high school, but I just get a little sad now. Every once in awhile I'll try to find him on Facebook or wherever, but never do. I hope he's alright!

16. Your favorite sounds: A cat purring, a glacier creaking/calving, epic music, etc

The Wild Robot Protects by Peter Brown (Aug 31-Sept 1). How gorgeous is this cover??

*swoons* I loved the glacier scenes!

Mala's Cat: A Memoir of Survival in World War II by Mala Kacenberg (Sept 2-5). I hate saying bad things about books about the Holocaust, but Mala was super mean to everyone! I suppose it helped her survive, but it still rubbed me the wrong way. Horrible things happened to her family though..such a sad time in history. :( Someone on Goodreads wondered if the cat was real, because it would travel impossible distances too fast. I have weird feelings about this book..

Snow Widows: Scott's Fatal Antarctic Expedition through the Eyes of the Women They Left Behind by Katherine MacInnes (Sept 5-12). Kind of written like a historical novel..pretty cool! Scott's wife seemed insufferable though :/

The Escape Room by Megan Goldin (Sept 12-16). More like escape elevator. Revenge was definitely had in this book!

My Patients Like Treats: Tales from a House-Call Veterinarian by Duncan MacVean (Sept 16-18). Aww, the part where he had to put pets to sleep made me cry. :( It's so hard, but the humane thing to do. He definitely treated some interesting animals!

The Institution by Helen Sarah Fields (Sept 18-23). Kind of like The Sanitarium, with serial killers..creepy!

White-Out by James Vance Marshall (Sept 24-28). Trapped in Antarctica after everyone else dies? Yikes!!

They hired a new bookstore manager! Her name is Katrina and I think she starts on October 13. Hopefully she'll work out better than Amanda did lol. Shelby said she got a "dinger" for the front door, which is HORRIFYING to me..I hate those things and I worry it'll give me a migraine (it's so we can give "top-notch" customer service the instant they walk in the door. Bill and I try to anyway, we don't need a "dinger" for that!). Bill was like "it probably breaks easily..." LOL. They really should ask us our opinion of something before deciding what to do..ugh

( sept 27-oct 1 )

1. Does where you live have regular doorstep rubbish collections or do you have to take your trash somewhere else? I just put the bag down a chute, which I imagine maintenance takes care of
2. Do you separate recycling? What sort of stuff gets recycled from your household? No, I probably should though..
3. Do you take things you don't need to charity shops, or give them away online, or sell them secondhand, or...? I give clothes to Value Village and books to the bookstore..I have left free stuff I didn't want for whoever wants it that lives in my apartment complex. Before my parents moved to their current location, we sold a bunch of stuff online too
4. Do you pick up litter in your local area, from streets or trails or play areas or parks? Have you ever found anything interesting discarded or lost in a public space? Not really, I just have limited energy lol. I found $20 once, and gave it to a coworker who needed it more than I did. Fairbanks also has old cars and other things in random spots lol
5. Are there "repair cafés" near you to help mend fixable items? Have you ever been helped by a community repair service or volunteered for one? Do you do any other kind of upcycling? There's a place that fixes broken phones, but I haven't heard of any others. They have helped me when my phone did something weird. I do not

Yesterday the volunteers (and I came too, because why not lol) met with Lucie and Shelby, to talk about our frustrations we've had after the move. The only positive things people said that was Bill and I are awesome and doing a great job of running the store without a manager, and we're always so calm when other people might freak out (why thank you. :P Haha), and good advertising. People had ideas of what might work better, so hopefully Lucie and Shelby will try the suggestions out. I'm glad it got busier yesterday and today, I was worried for a minute there! Tomorrow I'm working by myself because Bill is walking the Equinox Marathon..he said it took him 8 hours last year..no thanks, that sounds like torture. D: He's in such good shape that he wasn't even sore last year..wow haha

On Wednesday, mom temporarily lost vision in one of her eyes, so she had a bunch of appointments to see what was wrong..they didn't find anything, so they think it was an ocular migraine..she's had them before, but not that badly (I was terrified the first time I had one!). Hopefully it won't happen again!

( sept 18-19 )

1. What is your favourite fruit? Strawberries, and I don't mind grapes and pears. Mango salsa is REALLY good too!
2. What is the last book you read? I just finished Snow Widows this morning, about the different women related to the five men who died coming back from the South Pole (and what members of the expedition were doing in between). I think it was a mix of actual quotes and the author's imaginations of what the women might have been thinking/doing, etc. It was pretty cool, definitely not dry history! I also loved this part: "Gran has already begged a more conventional curtain from 'Ponker's Emporium' to screen it from The Tenements. Oates, scorning privacy and such 'effeminate luxury,' refers to the cubicle as the 'ladies' boudoir.' The 'ladies' reply that he needn't be jealous just because he hasn't got the only curtain in the Antarctic for himself. The banter continues all day, starting from the moment Birdie wakes in the morning with a yawn and asks Oates, 'How's the hay this morning, Farmer?' and Oates hesitates before delivering a crushing reply." Haha I'd definitely be jealous if I didn't have the only curtain in the Antarctic!! Things like this are why I love the Terra Nova Expedition and don't get tired of reading about it lol
3. Do you like any of your school photos? Some of my Senior pics are good, like this one, which I LOVE

I'll probably never be that skinny again :P
4. Do you ever blowdry your armpits to get the deodorant to dry quicker? lol no, I didn't know that was a thing :P
5. What was the last film you watched? Hmm, I haven't watched one in awhile..maybe How to Train Your Dragon? I really need to watch Flow one of these days..

The bookstore will be accepting donations again next month, except that because our space is so limited, for now we're only going to accept them on Thursdays from 12-3, someone can only donate only one box, and we'll have to sort through the donations and pick what we know will sell..the other people will have to wait in line until we're done sorting the previous person's box. Ummm..that sounds like a TERRIBLE plan..people are going to get SO mad at us (they already are on Facebook). People at least can sit in their cars while they wait, but ONE box per person?? I worry no one is going to want to donate stuff to us anymore and the store will die. D: I hope it'll be better than my worries. This has been one crazy year!

I have my MRI in a couple hours (the other option was 7 AM..NO thank you D:). My back is definitely getting better, but it's always good to make sure nothing crazy is going on lol

( sept 6-12 )