1. Did the house where you grew up have a newspaper delivered regularly? Hmm..maybe not the entire time we lived there, but I do remember finding newspapers in the driveway sometimes
2. Have you ever subscribed to an actual print newspaper? No
3. When was the most recent time you physically picked up and read a newspaper? I probably picked one up the other day at work because people donate them (the vintage ones are cool!), but I didn't really read it..
4. Do you pay for news online now? Only when I do the "Best Books of the Year" on List Challenges, then stop when I'm done with the list haha. It's really annoying they do that so much now though. I could use mom's account for the local news here, but reading the news is just depressing these days :/
5. Do you have any saved newspaper clippings? Yeah, probably about mountains or glaciers or something like that lol

Tomorrow is the bookstore's semi-annual 50% sale, when customers can shop in the back too. It's super exhausting preparing for it, but it's cool seeing the customers having fun lol

Dictionary.com's word of the day is "transpontine" (across or beyond a bridge). Now that's a cool word!

I miss Abby so much :(

( march 6-7 )

A book set in or around a body of water: Sharpe's Trafalgar by Bernard Cornwell (Feb 1-4). I hadn't read a Sharpe book since high school! My friend would read one first and then give it to me to read, and I went over to her house and watched the TV show with Sean Bean. It was really fun! I remember loving the epic battles and this one didn't disappoint either lol. It would be cool to read all of them again someday!

A classic you've never read: Robinson Crusoe by Daniel Defoe (Feb 5-10). Omg this book was AWFUL, absolutely one of the worst books I've ever read. The language and sentences that seemed like a page long were hard to read, and it was SO boring (I'd read a page and then would have no idea what I just read). Stranded on an island for like 30 years and building your "castle," farming..yay? Then one day he found a footprint on the beach, had a meltdown because he thought it could have been from a "savage," ran to his cave, where it LITERALLY took him two or three pages before he realized it was probably his own. Then he saves "Friday" and basically makes him his slave. Ugh. One day I'm going to stop reading a book if I'm hating it lol..I hate giving up though!

A book about chosen family: Chilling Effect by Valerie Valdes (Feb 10-16). Psychic cats in space?? Heck yes! I wish they had been more involved in the story, but I definitely still bought the two sequels after I read this one lol. The main character was feisty and somehow got out of every crazy situation she was in :P

Two books with the same title (1): Stranded by Bracken MacLeod (Feb 17-20). Icebound in the arctic with a lot of weirdness going on..kind of like that Doctor Strange movie where there's a different you in an alternate universe. One character met his "twin" and flipped out and started killing everyone O_o

Two books with the same title (2): Stranded by Sarah Goodwin (Feb 21-24). A reality show where a bunch of people have to survive on an island for a year..what could go wrong? (A lot.) I hated that the main character was hated so much and ostracized, but she was one of the only people to survive..brutal stuff

A book with a title that starts with the letter Y: Yellowstone Standoff by Scott Graham (Feb 24-27). I LOVED the descriptions of nature and stuff in this book ("The road broke from the forest into the open. Prairie-like Hayden Valley stretched to the south and west, its grasslands interspersed with stands of lodgepole pines. The valley's lush, early summer grasses glowed emerald green in the morning sun"), and I definitely didn't expect the plot twist at the end! National park mysteries are some of my favorites lol

( the topics )

Abby..still isn't doing super great. She eats a little, but still not enough, and dad found diarrhea in the litter box this morning. Sometimes she still sits like she's uncomfortable. The vet gave me a dropper thing to fill with food and put in her mouth, but she's not super interested, even with the appetite stimulant. Her body is probably just shutting down..neither mom nor I want to force feed her, give her meds, etc if it's not helping her..it's cruel and I just can't stand seeing her suffer. We'll see how she is tomorrow, but the kindest thing is probably to put her to sleep. :( Abby's had a great life, I'm SO glad she chose me that day at the shelter <3

Mom said she ate grasshoppers in Mexico (she didn't particularly like them lol), and brought back cool souvenirs for everyone (mine were cat themed, of course :P). She even found a cool library with super old books, which I drooled over when she sent me the pictures. She even remembered to take a picture of at least one of the hotel's curtains hehe..nice. :P She said it was fun but super exhausting and it was amazing being in her own bed again lol

March 1: Two things that test your patience: Repetitive noises like loud gum chewing, whistling, pen clicking, etc, and slow Internet (huge first world problem, but it drives me crazy haha)

1. If you could live in any city in the world, where would you live and why? Somewhere in Switzerland or Iceland, maybe (Reykjavík?)
2. If you could speak any language fluently, what would it be? Icelandic or Latin
3. When was the last time you rode a ferry and where did you go? I think it was 2012 when dad and I took the ferry up the Inside Passage..
4. What was the longest plane ride you've ever taken? At least 9 hours, coming back from England..I watched SO many movies and even saw Greenland!
5. If you discovered a country, what would you name it? Not sure, I'd have to see what it looks like..

My coworker said she'd be late and she'd keep everyone posted, so I sent this picture to her..

I said "like my bed??" Vicki thought it was funny, but mom didn't at all, which was surprising and honestly pretty hurtful..I thought it was a perfect picture. :( Meh, I guess my obsession is too out of control..

We've gotten SO much snow yesterday and today, definitely over a foot! Slogging through it is hard work lol. It's supposed to stop tonight and then it's supposed to drop to -20 with -55 windchills. D: D: Calm down, Alaska!! :P

( dec 9-13 )

Earlier today, grandma passed away. Mom left last night because they couldn't get grandma's oxygen level stable, and mom said grandma waited for her to get there and then passed away. I'm really glad I was able to see grandma as much as I did this year. Her quality of life really wasn't good this year, so I'm glad she's not suffering anymore. She was one strong lady though, and always so sweet and kind to me. I loved her house in Wichita because she lived next to a sycamore tree haha. Hawaii by James Michener will forever remind me of her, because it was one of her favorite books and gave me a copy to read. I'm not sure about funeral arrangements yet, but of course Vicki said to leave whenever I need to. I will treasure 35 years of memories with grandma forever <3 (this picture is definitely one of my favorites of her and me)

( more pics of grandma )

There are probably other pictures of us together, I just need to find them. I hope she's at peace in whatever afterlife there is!

There's a crazy-sounding winter storm coming this weekend (my head can feel it, ugh. The first major snowstorm is always the worst). There's a possibility of heavy snow with mixed freezing rain, accumulations of 6 to 10 inches, a glaze of ice, and winds could gust as high as 35 mph. O_o I hope the power doesn't go out! I think I'll be staying inside under a blanket this weekend LOL

17. Are There Topics That Should Be Off Limits to Comedy? Yeah, like rape and things like that

18. What Animal Are You Most Like? A cat in certain ways, a sloth haha, etc

For the past few weeks, grandma has declined rapidly..she became too weak to stand and forgetful. She's now under the care of hospice. Aunt Cindy is there right now, and either her or Julie called mom this morning saying that hospice told her to call family right away. She's so weak now she can barely speak. No one knows how long she has (hours? A few days?), but hospice wanted to make sure everyone was able to see her before she died. Mom and I are leaving tonight..Ryan has been in San Francisco with Jo and they were supposed to fly back home today, but Ryan's now just flying straight to Kansas City. I'm glad I've been able to see her these past few years since she moved back to the States. She's gone through a lot, but now her body's exhausted. We've been expecting this, but it's still sad. Weirdly enough, she wants to be buried at the graveyard I went to earlier in the year, where the sycamore trees sent me an image of their roots cradling the dead, protecting them. She'll be safe there! I hope she'll be able to recognize everyone when we get there tomorrow, and that it won't be too late (I did read somewhere that hearing is the last sense to go before you die, so even if she can't respond, hopefully she can still hear us, so we can say "I love you" and things like that). It'll definitely be hard watching her "actively dying" (what hospice calls it), but hopefully it'll be peacefully in her sleep. We're not sure how long we're going to be visiting, but work understands. I'm glad she'll be surrounded by family in her last days (it's supposed to be in the 90s and 100s in Topeka this week..ugh D:)

( aug 24-25 )

A book about or set in Hollywood: Once Upon a Time in Hollywood by Quentin Tarantino (June 30-July 9)

A book that started out as fan fiction: The Angel of the Crows by Katherine Addison (July 10-19)

A book about a family: Beyond the Sea of Ice by William Sarabande (July 20-27)

A book you read more than 10 years ago: My Side of the Mountain by Jean Craighead George (July 27-28). I loved this book when I was a kid, but as an adult it seems unrealistic..a 13-year-old city kid runs away to the forest and he can do everything from building a bed, making snowshoes, training a falcon, making elaborate dishes from ingredients from the forest, etc. It's still an interesting read though

A book with just text on the cover: Life on Delay: Making Peace with a Stutter by John Hendrickson (July 29-31). I may have a different disability (though I do stutter sometimes), but I still related to a lot of the things he talked about (speech therapy, bullying, being terrified to speak in front of the class and waiting until the last minute to take regular speech class, depression, The Look, OCD tendencies, etc). He wouldn't recognize himself without his stutter, just as I wouldn't recognize myself without autism..it's a gift and a curse lol. I think it makes us more empathetic and easier to interact with others with disabilities. "The Look" people give to him is of pity, mine is "ugh, what's wrong with her? Why is she so rude?" In both cases, people seem thrown off by our disabilities. It's not easy, but we always persevere!

( the topics )

Nature is beautiful, but it's also cruel..this weekend mom saw a bunch of ducks attack and kill another duck, and saw a dead baby duck in the water. There's been another duck hanging around that has deformed legs..we though he might have had fishing wire around his leg, but when dad caught him we saw he was just born with deformed legs. I probably shouldn't have, but I picked him up and he was in worse shape than I thought..he only really uses one leg to swim and just swims in circles, and when I put him down he couldn't stand on his legs at all. His wings were small and tattered..he's never be able to fly. He's bullied by the other ducks too..I felt bad for the poor thing (I'm surprised he had lived that long!). There was nothing we could do for the duck (I guess we could have called Fish and Game, but they probably would have just put him to sleep), so dad put him back in the lake and sat there with him for awhile. The duck definitely seemed very depressed and lethargic..he hasn't been seen since this weekend, so it's possible he died..he honestly would have died anyway, because he couldn't walk or fly, and he would have been in trouble when the lake freezes over. It's sad, but that is not a good way to live..I hope he's at peace now. I was sad all weekend because of this..it's hard seeing animals that are suffering :(

29 – Rain Day: Do you like rainy days? Does it rain a lot where you live? Have you ever been caught in a torrential downpour? I can, like after it's been hot for a long time, but not for weeks on end. It depends..there have been summers where it hardly rained at all, others it rained for weeks, and in between. August is usually our rainiest month. Yeah, that's always interesting haha..that happened once at the fair and got soaked :P

30 – Whistleblower Day: Part of living in a country with a fair rule of law is making sure that corruption and misconduct do not go unnoticed. A whistleblower is an individual who reports suspicious activity, such as violations, exploitation, misrepresentations, or other infractions. The activity may be within an organization, either public or private. If you witnessed, or were aware of, corruption and misconduct in your workplace, would you speak up about it, even if it meant potentially losing your job? Possibly..that would be a hard situation to be in..

31 – Picnic Month: July is national Picnic Month. Have you ever been on a picnic? Do you enjoy eating outdoors? If you were organizing a picnic, what foods would you bring? I have, even on a glacier! Sure, it can be nice. Bread rolls, for one

August 1 – World Wide Web Day: Think about how much of what you do each day you do online. If the internet disappeared tomorrow, how would that impact your life? How would you have to start doing things differently (or go back to a pre-internet way of doing things)? It would pretty much change life completely (maybe I'd get more housework done LOL). Everything would have to be done manually again..that would be hard lol

So my parents barely get along with each other..when mom tries to talk to him, it just turns into an argument, and he storms away if he thinks he's being disagreed with, then gives everyone the silent treatment (he's also pretty hard of hearing, which doesn't help either). He's gotten so cynical and negative, and rants about everything..it's gotten worse as the months and years go by. He used to stay in Payson for long periods of time which suited us fine, but the neighbor ruined everything by yelling at dad when he's working in the yard and even threatened him with a knife at the end of the driveway, challenging him to a fight. He even yelled at Ryan and Jo when they were there. The guy also dug a very ugly irrigation ditch and lined it with wattles, part of which is on our property, so dad is NOT happy. His enjoyment of Payson is gone, and only goes for the shortest amount of time now to check on things. Dad went around a month or so ago, and the day he left my parents had another fight. He didn't call mom the whole time he was gone and on Sunday, he just showed up here without telling anyone. Things were going alright, and then yesterday they got into another argument, with ended with dad banging stuff around and storming downstairs (I hadn't seen him that mad in a long time). That had me sobbing, so we left and sought the refuge of my apartment. Mom was like "I'm done, we HAVE to go somewhere else," and called Aunt Cindy to rant and ask if we could come (we wanted to visit at the end of the month, but yesterday changed things). She was fine with that, so we're leaving tomorrow morning at 7 something (ughh). Cindy was already planning on visiting grandma for her birthday later in the month, so we're going to drive to Kansas too. Mom and I might visit grandpa in Florida as well (we're coming back on May 15, so we have plenty of time). Definitely a much needed vacation, but I wish it was under better circumstances (I'm not even sure dad knows we're leaving..he's doing the silent treatment again). Ryan and Jo will help take care of Abby, and check my mail and stuff, which is awesome. We shall have fun!!

( april 2-6 )

1. How tall would you like to be if you had the chance to choose? Hmm..maybe around 5'8? I do like that my shortness keeps me from bumping my head on low things though lol
2. How often do you change your sheets? I wash them every other week
3. When is it time to repurpose an old towel? When it's stained and/or falling apart
4. Do you need to make a trip to a secondhand store to drop something off? I have books to donate to the bookstore lol
5. What was the last book you borrowed from the library? I borrowed a book on depression from the Behavior Health place last week

I'm glad I'm feeling better and have my appetite back, and went to work every day this week! It was amazing sleeping in my own bed again lol

Greyboy is not doing well..mom took him to the vet maybe a couple months ago to get his shots, and hasn't been the same since. He's not eating regular cat food (just voles he catches outside and sometimes Greenies) and is now very skinny, and he pees in weird places. He might not be too long for this world. :( Unlike Snowy, I definitely wasn't prepared for Greyboy's decline. I hope he's not in any pain..

Billiard Table: Billiards originated as a ground game in which players used sticks to push balls through obstacles formed by cones, posts, and arches. The origins of this game can be traced all the way back to ancient Egypt, and variations were played in one form or another almost continuously until the Middle Ages...
To muffle the sound of the balls hitting the wooden surface, a cloth was thrown over the table. Green, which harked back to billiards' origin as a lawn game, was the preferred color - and it remains so today

( july 17-22 )

Yesterday at breakfast Jo said he and his friends were going to hike at Wickersham Dome (around 27 miles from Fairbanks) later in the day, and invited me to go with them. It was a gorgeous day, it sounded like fun, and somehow I'd never hiked there before, so I said yes! (Mom has hiked there, and did the 14-mile round trip in one day..wow. O_o) As it got closer to leaving, I again got nervous before seeing his friends. I've hung out with them multiple times by now, I shouldn't still get that nervous! They were almost ready to go and I was frantically looking for mom's copy of the Milepost to take with me (it's a very cool book, with lots of information, though mom's is from 2007, so it's a liiittle outdated haha. She kept it because that was the year she drove to Alaska), but kept not finding it, and was worried someone would ask what I was looking for! I did eventually find it in a box. "Mile-POST!!!" I said in victory LOLOL

Eventually we were all ready to go..I rode with Jo and Maeve and the others (and Sid) rode in a separate car. Mom and Ryan video called from Payson a little after we left (though the signal wasn't very good, maybe because of the hills). Jo said "me and Heather and Maeve are on our way to Wickersham Dome to hike!" and mom was like "no way! Cool! Wait..how did you get Heather to go with you?? Was she peer pressured??" (Maeve said I should have said "no, I was queer pressured!" That would have been perfect. :P) I took the phone and told her it was too nice of a day not to lol, and then showed her I brought the Milepost along. It was hard talking though because of the bad signal, and eventually had to give up..we figured we would talk later when the signal was better lol. After we hung up, I told Jo and Maeve I realized I missed the perfect opportunity to say "I took your Milepo-po-post!" and blame the stuttering on the bad signal instead! That would have been so funny. :P Then I started telling them why that word is so hard (Jo had heard the story, but Maeve hadn't. She was curious as to what situations cause me to stutter, and said from being nervous or really tired, and sometimes it comes out of nowhere :P), and just kept talking! I was honestly tired of hiding it, and hadn't talked a lot about it except on the Internet, so it was pretty cathartic! I'm sure they heard/saw my struggle as I tried to say "post" way too many times in that conversation LOL, but I just laughed it off. :P The drive was really pretty though, lots of fall colors and awesome Alaska scenery!

It didn't take too long to get to the trailhead, and I told Rachel "I'm out of shape and I have short legs, I'll be in the back, the first to g-get e-ea-eaten by a bear!" (Yup, still nervous. :P) Jo got his hiking pole out, which reminded me of winter hiking with mom and Bonnie and Ingrid, and took a deep breath and asked "do you know what ..postholing is?" and he said "what?" Nooo I have to say it again?? "Po-postholing," I said again, but still he was like "huh?" NOO YOU'RE KILLING MEEE haha! He got it the third time, but Rachel nearby must have been like "what is wrong with her?" Thankfully that's when we started hiking haha, which was REALLY hard at first because I'm so out of shape and was panting way too much (so embarrassing!). Rachel probably thought I was kidding when I said I was going to be in the back, but nope, that's where I was. :P I felt like a grandma LOL. It was still a really nice hike though, with nice colors and great views of the Alaska Range, and possibly the Brooks Range! I think this was everyone's first time up there, and we were all like "woooow" haha. I think we hiked a mile or so, but I'm not positive. It was tiring, but fun!

We drove behind the other car the way back, and when we got back to town, Sid stuck his head out the window, and we could see Sid was drooling, which he never does unless he's sick (one time he ate a poisonous mushroom and he was leaking from both ends and collapsed and had to go to the vet!). Jo was like "oh no, he is not ok!" When we got home a couple of us watched Sid (who definitely wasn't feeling well, and was wobbly when he walked) while the others made dinner. When Sid started having diarrhea, I got Jo, who called the emergency vet, and was placed on hold for a long time (really??). After we ate he finally got through, and they said to bring him in, so I went with Jo to the vet. She gave him some anti-nausea medicine to stop his drooling (which didn't work) and some charcoal to bind whatever toxins he ingested to it (he might have eaten another mushroom). His fluid was fine, so she sent us home with more medicine (Jo thanked me a couple times for going with him). Sid was SO tired, and he's still very tired this morning, but he did stop drooling, which is good. Poor guy! I hope he recovers quickly, and learns not to eat mushrooms :P

( pics from the hike! )

I can't believe yesterday was the 20th anniversary of 9/11..that makes me feel old. O_o Definitely a sad day :(

11. When was the last time you visited the park? Who did you go with? Hmm..I went geocaching at a park with mom this summer..

12. What language did you take in high school? Spanish and Latin

1. Why do you think we dream? *shrugs* Our minds are weird lol
2. Do you tend to remember your dreams or forget them as soon as you wake up? Depends..if it's scary, I'll probably remember it
3. Do you keep a dream journal and has it been productive in any way? No
4. Have you ever had a premonition dream? Yeah..one time I dreamed I had green stuff on my fingers, and the next day I must have been doing coloring or something, and suddenly I looked at my hand..and there was green marker on my fingers. It was SOOO weird haha
5. Do your dreams tend to be happy or more in lines with being a nightmare? Weird and rather unpleasant, so it's nice when I have happy dreams lol

Grandma is in the hospital with coronavirus. :( Mom talked to her and said she's actually doing pretty well. She never seems to be in the greatest of health, but she seems to be able to fight whatever she has off, so hopefully she'll continue to do well. I just hope Jack doesn't get it, he's very frail and might not survive that :(

( oct. 2: What do you like most about fall? )