Happy Thanksgiving! We had a feast at work yesterday, and a pretty low-key dinner at my parents' house. Vicki was going to come over, but mom is sick, so we'll have to do that another time. I'm extra thankful this year..I got a great counselor and psychiatrist, I was able to take a few months off of work so I could get my life back together (I'm still SO grateful they let me do that!), and slowly started feeling better after getting back on Prozac and Amitriptlyne. I'm thankful for Vicki too, she literally came at just the right time, when Denise was totally falling apart. She's a great manager, good with people, and one of the most caring, comforting people I've ever met (both me and Denise said we were grateful for her yesterday, and she was very touched). I'm glad I'm again able to enjoy work, food, looking forward to things and just living. The first half of the year was dark and bleak, but I stubbornly struggled through it and came out of it kind of a new person. And of course, I'm thankful for Abby!

She was sitting on mom's lap, and I told mom to scratch her belly, and she purred REALLY loudly and did that pose. Omg she is SO adorable LOL (she's kneading the air!). I gave her some turkey, which she LOVED..so spoiled haha


I left and when I came back, this is how I found Abby..she must have missed me, since she's on top of my jacket haha (I wonder what I smell like to her..)

( nov 18-22 )

1. When was the last time you had a proper checkup? *shrugs*
2. When did your car have a proper checkup or do you just take it in when something breaks? I don't have a car
3. Do you regularly get your heating/air conditioning checked? Not super often..
4. Are you more inclined to take better care of others than yourself? Maybe
5. Be honest, how are you feeling today? Tired, because...

...I finally got my sleep study results back, and was diagnosed with mild obstructive sleep apnea. The doctor said I had between 9-17 breathing disturbances per hour! (I slept for 4.37 hours with a sleep efficiency of 67%.) I guess I breathe shallowly or something, which causes excessive wakefulness. I never entered REM sleep. I have had times where I woke up in a panic because I felt like I couldn't breathe or couldn't get enough air in or something, and now I know why. The symptoms I've been having, excessive daytime sleepiness and not feeling refreshed in the morning, difficulty staying asleep, waking up with a headache, increased need to get up from bed to urinate (tmi, but I was wondering what that was about lol), reduced focus, even depression are all signs of sleep apnea. I definitely knew something was wrong! The doctor sent a referral to these people at the hospital that have medical equipment so I can get a CPAP, hopefully next week. I really hope it helps, I'm tired of being tired (lol) and depressed and sluggish. It harms my performance at work too, which is not good since soon I have to go back to my regular schedule at work, 5 days a week, 4 hours a day (by hour three I'm EXHAUSTED). It might be why I feel like the Prozac isn't working like I feel it should be. I'm so glad I have an answer now!! I can't wait to wake up and actually feel refreshed :P

I saw my regular doctor yesterday, and I'm going back on Amitriptyline..last year I stopped it because I thought it was making me ravenously hungry and really sweaty, and then covid happened and everything fell apart. Now I don't even really like eating anymore, and have lost seven pounds since I last saw the doctor three months ago. Along with preventing migraines, I think it helped with depression too. I might gain the weight back, but I would rather be fat and happy and enjoying myself than being meh about everything. Hopefully this, along with Prozac and the CPAP, will help me finally feel human again! Things must improve...

Edit: I just read last year's July 7th entry, and this what I said: "I never should have stopped the Amitriptyline..I went from ravenous hunger to no appetite, even to the point where I've felt nauseous if I've tried eating. I've lost a few pounds from hardly eating. I haven't had the energy or mindset to write here. I didn't realize how much Amitriptyline helped with anxiety too until these past couple weeks." Yeahh, basically what's happening now. I really should have learned by now that stopping meds that work ISN'T A GOOD IDEA! Crazy lol

( july 2-7 )