A dystopian book with a happy ending: The Light Pirate by Lily Brooks-Dalton (May 31-Jun 3). This was kind of a post-apocalyptic Where the Crawdads Sing haha. Good Morning, Midnight was better, but still an interesting read

A book that an AI chatbot recommends based on your favorite book: The Coldest March: Scott's Fatal Antarctic Expedition by Susan Solomon (Jun 4-9). I hadn't read a book about Scott's expedition in awhile haha. They just had terrible, super cold weather that year! (Amundsen's men got frostbite too, because they left too early.) I've now outlived Birdie Bowers (he was only 28!!), Edgar Evans (35) and Lawrence Oates (32)..wow. Such a tragic ending, even more so because Cherry was blamed for their deaths, which haunted him the rest of his life. So sad :(

A book about a run club: The End of the World Running Club by Adrian J. Walker (Jun 9-15). Running hundreds of miles across a meteorite-destroyed wasteland?? Crazy! This book freaked me out though, because a meteor strike like that could happen D:

A book that includes a nonverbal character: The Weight of Silence by Heather Gudenkauf (Jun 15-19). The fourth book I've read by this author (I loved The Overnight Guest). I wasn't a fan of the main character's dad's abuse, which caused her silence. He said if she talked, her mom's baby would die..WTF?? People can be so awful :/

A book that features a married couple who don't live together: We Solve Murders by Richard Osman (Jun 20-24). His books are so funny and entertaining! The new Thursday Murder Club novel comes out in September, yay!

A book about a POC experiencing joy and not trauma: What You Are Looking For Is in the Library by Michiko Aoyama (Jun 25-26). I love how so many Asian novels have cats in them lol. I put it on the shelf at work after I finished reading it and within an hour someone bought it haha

A book where music plays an integral part of the storyline: Lucky Stars by Lucy Frank (Jun 27-29). Yay, another book with a character that stutters! He could sing really well too!

( the topics )

Poor dad is going through a really bad anxiety/depression spell..a few weeks ago he drove me to/from work until I learned the bus schedule, then went out of state to Arizona and California, and hasn't been the same since he got back. He woke mom up at 6 something on Wednesday and asked her to take him to the ER..his chest was heavy, it was hard to breathe, he was in pain, etc. They did lots of tests, and after five hours, they said he had a bladder infection. He felt a little better after they gave him fluids and meds, but they next day he felt bad again and went back to the ER, and still only said he had a bladder infection. On Friday night when I was there, he felt absolutely AWFUL..neck pain, not able to concentrate, tense, nauseous, etc. His symptoms were pretty much everything I had when I was anxious/depressed. He said he was at his wit's end and couldn't live like that. I know I'm not supposed to, but I gave him a Clonazepam..I just can't watch people suffer! When I walked into the room, his face looked terrified, stressed, scared..I hope I never see that expression again! I told him I had symptoms he has when I was depressed and told him to take the pill, and he'd feel much better. He gave me a big hug. I went to bed and the next morning asked how the night went, and he hugged me and told me I had saved his life! He felt calm and was able to sleep, but he felt the symptoms creeping back the next day. His doctor won't give him anti-anxiety meds until his infection clears up, so he can't really do anything because of his brain fog and other symptoms. It's awful leaving someone to suffer like that! I somehow made it through a year of feeling that way, I wouldn't wish that on most people (unless they abuse animals or other horrendous things). I really hope he gets relief soon, it's so hard watching someone else go through it :(

It's weird..at the bookstore's new location, we get a LOT more tourists and first-time visitors than at the other building. I'm not sure why, it isn't in a "touristy" or exciting part of town, but it is cool! I love learning where people are from lol

Curti is so cute..when I come home, he'll stretch is front paws on my legs, asking me to pick him up, and purrs when I do. Awww, he misses me and is happy I'm home. <3 His super fluffy tail is so cool hehe

28. Your favorite board game: Betrayal at House on the Hill, Pictionary, Trivial Pursuit (though everyone I know hates trivia games, so I never get to play it :()

29. What memories do you associate with summer? Traveling and seeing glaciers, swimming, eating strawberry milkshakes outside, the Midnight Sun Festival, etc

30. When do you feel lonely? When I'm at a gathering and no one is talking to me, when I've spent too much time alone in my apartment, etc

July 1: What one thing would you change from your past? I wish I had been a better friend in the past, but if it hadn't happened I wouldn't have learned from it..still makes me feel guilty though :(

Happy Mother's Day to the best mom evar!

I wouldn't have gotten this far in life without her support, understanding, love, etc. <3 We went to Green's, a fancy restaurant (we went there last year too), and got a table next to the curtains! (That's why our faces are that far apart, to get the curtains in the pic haha!)


Don't look at the menu yet, we have to take a pic with the curtains first!!! Haha


I was having way too much fun LOL


Ryan, Jo, me, mom and dad, yay! After dinner we got ice cream. A very fun day! (Curti brought up his mouse on my bed and played with it, so that was his present haha. It's SO cute when he walks around with a toy in his mouth hehe)

( may 10-11 )

1. If everyone carried personal cards (instead of business cards), what would you put on the line just beneath your name, where job titles usually go? "Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise." I need to get a tattoo of that somewhere..
2. What’s your favorite card game? I don't usually play them, but Uno and Solitaire aren't too bad (does Apples to Apples count? That one is super fun!)
3. How confidently and competently do you shuffle a deck of cards? Not very haha, I'm not really good with my hands :P
4. To whom did you last send a non-holiday, non-birthday greeting card? It's been FOREVER since I sent a card to someone, so I'm not sure
5. When did you last jot something down on an index card? It's been a long time for that too..

Abby will sit on anyone's lap...

...even a skeleton's, which for some reason dad sat in a chair and covered with blankets instead of putting away after Halloween was over LOL. Dad calls him Big Skele..so funny :P

Those California fires are crazy! The pictures/videos look super apocalyptic! I feel so bad for everyone who lost everything (especially pets) :(

( jan 4-10 )

Happy 35th birthday to me! So weird haha. Mom made me a big breakfast (eggs, hash browns, strawberries, etc), and we sat outside for a couple hours, enjoying the nice weather. We must be having a Chinook, because it's been SUPER windy all day (it has finally quieted down now), and was in the 80s. It was cool watching the wind move the water on the lake in an interesting way. We had milkshakes, then dad took me to Barnes and Noble. On the way, I noticed a smoke plume to the south..definitely the right conditions for a forest fire. I read later it's called the McDonald Fire, and it's burning near a military training area. The Alaska Wildland Fire site says "it is burning in an area designated for limited management, meaning that unless the fire threatens property or people, it will be allowed to play its natural ecological role." They're not sure how it started yet. I'm glad it's not threatening anything so far though. After that, we all went to dinner at Chena's Alaskan Grill, where I go every year on my birthday. It was too hot and windy to sit outside, but it was still nice. Amazingly, they were way OVER staffed..the place wasn't even full and there were at LEAST 10-15 waiters/waitresses milling around..weird. O_o After that, we went home..mom had decorated while I was at the bookstore, so there were cool balloons and other festive decorations, cake Ryan made, and an intriguing wooden box with a bow on it. Inside was this cool book journal, which mom made herself. I was completely awed and stunned at all the details and effort that went into it..she dyed/aged paper, made bookmarks, sewed around some of the pages, found authentic original polar exploration little cards, had little charms hanging from the outside (one had "16" on it!), etc. Months ago I remember mom watching all these crafting videos, and now I know why..she'd been preparing this journal for a very long time. I'm absolutely amazed and touched she did all that work just for me..she outdoes herself every year with gifts haha. She was worried she wouldn't get it done in time, especially since we went to Kansas and then me getting sick, but she did (she also stained the box..it smelled interesting haha). I probably took too many pictures, but it's too cool not to share! Then we had red velvet cake, which Ryan made with espresso for some reason..it would have tasted better without the espresso, but I appreciate his hard work all the same. And now I'm tired..phew, birthdays are exhausting! Haha. It was a nice day though :)

( birthday pics!! )

8. If You Were a Super Rich Philanthropist, What Causes Would You Support? Animal shelters and things like that, literacy ones, etc

On Saturday, the bookstore did over $7000! We didn't break any records this time, but it's still awesome! (In the old days, $2000 was super awesome, now we do that in an hour or two haha.) We sold LOTS of books, but it always amazes me how many are left! I'm going to be busy shelving this week :P

I found another show with a main character who stutters (Arkwright), Open All Hours, a British sitcom from the 70s. Normally I hate sitcoms (especially the laugh tracks), but this one is actually clever and funny. One favorite line is when Arkwright says "How do you spell p-p-p-p-pepper? Is it six p's or seven?" and another is when he says "didn't you hear the weather fore-fore-forecast?" and his nephew says "the 'fore-fore-forecast'? That's three fours are twelve...don't you mean the weather 'twelvecast'?" Ha! Another that had me literally loling is when he said "it all started when we had B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B" and his nephew said "you know I don't understand Morse Code!" I wasn't expecting THIS line though (for context, there's a mattress in a car):

"Salesman: We're arguing about a few pounds?"
Nephew: "You can fit a four-poster in the back of that one!"
Me: "OMG NO WAY" *flails*

Now I'm imagining a four-poster in a car LOL. Awesome. :P The episodes are only like 30 minutes long, but at least there are four seasons (I'm still sad Here Come the Brides only had two seasons lol)

Dad showed me more pictures of his trip to Flower Mound, and wow, it has gotten FANCY..instead of ranches and fields, now there are giant houses and condos overlooking Grapevine Lake (I remember when there were fields! I was always sad when they slowly kept getting built on). He said except for a new playground, the neighborhood we lived in is mostly the same. The town started growing quickly in the late 90s and 2000s, and it hasn't stopped since..wow. I'd kinda like to go back, though it would be VERY weird..

I recently found a game called Hidden Paws, where you search for cats and yarn balls in an icy landscape, and it's SO relaxing! The levels get more complex the further you get in the game. I get ridiculously excited when I find a cat LOL (they meow when you get close to one). I love opening boxes and shutters on windows and just exploring. Cats and ice and even penguins, some of my favorite things! It makes me super happy <3

( march 9-11 )

Merry Christmas!! Ryan made everyone a fancy breakfast and then we opened presents! Here are pics!


Mom made this bowl out of pine needles!! Too bad I didn't get the crafty gene mom and grandma have :P


Mom and Abby, who of course had to join us lol

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We got tired of pics by the end, but I also got a sweater thing from grandma, a digital picture frame you can sync with others and share pics from Aunt Gina, treats from Aunt Cindy (coffee cake, scones, etc), lip balm, and $200 from dad yesterday, and immediately went to spend it at Barnes and Noble haha. There's going to be turkey for dinner, and we might play a board game after that..nice! Hope your holidays have been good too!

23 – Roots Day: How much do you know about your own family history? Do you know the names of your great grandparents? Have any of your ancestors been a part of any significant historical events? I did a family tree a few years ago and discovered I'm directly descended from a bunch of people on the Mayflower (William Brewster, Stephen Hopkins, etc)! I also got something from grandpa that showed info about relatives fighting in the Revolutionary (I think?) War and getting scalped by Native Americans. D: On mom's side (grandpa), their names were Earl Hopkins (he died before I was born) and Elsie Hopkins (I do remember her, she would send me typewritten letters and I visited her in Maine!). I don't remember anyone else's names though..

24 – Christmas Eve: Christmas Eve is filled with both religious and nonreligious traditions and a variety of foods. What are some of your holiday traditions? How did they begin? Opening presents, having good food, maybe playing a video and board game..they just did over the years lol

25 – Pumpkin Pie Day: Pumpkin pie, yes or no? Sure, with whipped cream!

On Saturday, dad drove us to the airport. I guess in June United sent mom an itinerary change (Dulles instead of Newark) and she told the ticket agent..their system still showed Newark and she couldn't change another company's itinerary, so mom had to call United. The guy on the phone tried to fix it, but couldn't, so we had to check our bags just to Seattle and pick them up there. I saw a couple glaciers on the flight to Seattle, but the wing was right across from me, so it was hard to see them. We picked up our bags in Seattle and then went to United to check them the rest of the way (I'm glad we all have TSA Pre-Check, it makes going through security much easier! The Seattle flight left at 11 something (yaay, redeyes :/) and got to Dulles at 7 something. I got a tiny bit of sleep, but it's just so hard sleeping sitting up! On one of these flights I was reading a sci-fi book I brought, and suddenly it mentioned Puerto Rico, and how a character went to Caja de Muertos (literally "box of death," but it's usually translated as "Coffin Island," because it looks like someone in a coffin). I was like "huh, what are the chances of that??" When I landed, I Googled the island, which, incredibly, is off the coast of Ponce!!! What are the chances the book I've been reading (which mostly takes place in space) just HAPPENS to mention a place near Jo's hometown?!? Wow. The flight to San Juan took about four hours..we were definitely all tired of being stuffed on planes all day! On the flights I watched Murder on the Nile (I'd been wanting to watch it, since I recently read the book), Elemental and a good portion of Luca

After we landed, I walked outside and was completely overpowered by how HUMID it was! It felt like I was eating it! Crazy. Jo picked us up and drove us the hour and a half to Ponce. We drove through a crazy storm, with cloud-to-ground lightning and crazy loud thunder (maybe part of Hurricane Tammy?). I asked Jo if he had been to Caja de Muertos, and he said that he had! It's a nature reserve and has an abandoned lighthouse. As we neared Ponce, he pointed to the left and said "there is is!" OMG I can't get over that coincidence haha! It indeed looks like someone laying in a coffin. Guess I brought the right book to read. :P There are giant red letters saying "PONCE" right before you drive in. We got to Jo's mom's (Carmen) house, and Carmen and Jo's brother Jonathan greeted us (they visited Alaska a few years ago). When I walked into the house, I was surpised at how WHITE it was..the walls, floor, curtains, etc..blinding haha. It also looked spotless, which made me terrified to touch anything haha (Jo wasn't kidding when he said his mom loved order and cleans the house a lot :P). There are actually marks on the floor from when they killed centipedes with machetes haha! Jo's cousin was also over, and I showed her a pic of Abby and said "mi gato Abby!" At first mom was too scared to try to speak any Spanish..I attributed my confidence to Prozac (best medicine ever!!). It's weird though..when you try to speak Spanish to people here they look at you funny and are generally uncomfortable. After we settled in, a couple of Jo's aunts and more cousins came over (most of the family lives nearby). Only Jo and Jonathan speak English fluently..Carmen can read English, but only can say a few words. Still cool to see the people Jo talks about though! We had dinner, relaxed more, and mom and I were so tired we went to bed at 8 something haha. I fell asleep alright, but then woke up at 11 or 12 something feeling like I had been beaten up..my body ached (especially my back and butt), and my nerves felt like they were shocking me. I knew I wasn't sick though, because I've experienced similar things when traveling and being overstimulated. I laid awake miserable for a couple hours, but finally I knew I had to take Clonazepam and Motrin. I hadn't taken any Clonazepam since July and felt proud of my record, but this was one of those times I just knew I had to take some. I was able to go back to sleep after the meds kicked in (imagine how I would have felt if I hadn't been on Prozac!)

This morning I was half-awake, and all of a sudden felt an earthquake! It was funny, because yesterday mom was like "NO hurricanes or earthquakes while we're here!" The earth said "challenge accepted" LOL. I went back to sleep, woke up at 10 something, said "NOPE," and finally got up around 11:30..I definitely needed the sleep though. After breakfast we decided to check out a bookstore..on the way, it started POURING rain! The streets were like rivers, and my feet got soaked walking to the bookstore haha. The store had some books in English, but most were in Spanish..it was interesting seeing the Spanish translation of popular titles though. We also explored downtown, got some ice cream, and went to a gift shop. In certain places, you can still see the damage from Hurricane Maria (2017)..sad. There are cool old colorful historical buildings downtown. After that we went to the store..it was interesting seeing food unique to Puerto Rico (tamarinds, for one). After that we went back to the house, relaxed (I felt achy again, and took more Motrin, which helped some), and then went with Carmen to Hard Rock Cafe! A local band performed when we were there, they were actually pretty good! I got a shirt and pin for my backpack, yay! There were really cool frog sounds in the trees near the restaurant. Then we drove home. I'll probably go to bed soon after posting this lol, traveling is tiring :P

( some pics! )

21 – International Walk to School Month: Did you walk to school as a child? Are parents today too over-protective to let their children walk to school? I did when I was in 1st to 3rd grade, but then they rezoned me to a school further away..made no sense, but I guess "they" do what they want :P

22 – Colour Day: National Colour Day focuses on the impact colour has on each of us. Beyond having a favourite colour, are there colours that evoke specific feelings or memories in you? Colours you avoid or dislike because they remind you of something you'd rather forget, or give off "bad vibes"? Is there a colour that immediately brightens your mood, or calms you? Do you decorate your home with lots of bright colours? How important is colour in your life? OMG too many questions haha. Blue reminds me of glaciers. Hmm..I don't think so?? I mean I don't like pink, but that's just a preference lol. Blue and purple can make me happy Not really. It's definitely a nice thing to have!

23 – iPod Day: Have you ever owned an iPod (or other portable media player)? Do you remember those first songs? Do you still listen to them? What have you become in the days that have past, and do you smile with nostalgia or cringe with embarrassment as you remember your favorites from ages gone by? I did in high school..there were a bunch of metal songs on it. Not really. I smile and cringe at the same time LOL

This is Abby's face when I give her her meds lol:

"Ewww!!" Sometimes she'll lick her lips when she sees me coming with the dropper thing, like she can already taste how gross it is haha


*DEATH GLARE* Even though she was at my parents' house for months, she didn't forget anything, especially the part when I give her Greenies when I come home from work LOL

Now dad has a cold, and he said it felt worse than when he had his toe removed..that sounds a little dramatic LOL, but colds definitely aren't fun :P

( sept 16-18 )

1. What is an ideal career for someone who’s your exact opposite? A radio announcer, for one..I stumble over my words too much, and talking gets exhausting after awhile :P
2. What do most people not know about your job? Possibly that the books that are damaged or don't sell we take to the dump..it's sad, but no one wants moldy books lol
3. Which stereotypes about people in your job are pretty close to accurate? Most of the bookstore people are crazy cat ladies haha..we get distracted from work by amusing cat stories :P
4. Which movie or TV series has a pretty good portrayal of your job? Ummm..I'm not sure..
5. Which wild animal would be best suited to doing your job? An ape??

Dad's surgery went well, but mom got covid while in Anchorage! She went so long without getting it! She's feeling better today, but she didn't feel great the other days this week. Definitely not a fun illness to have..

I got my CPAP on Tuesday..the guy showed me how to set it up and tested a mask..it's pretty straightforward. I tried it Tuesday night, but it was suffocating and only used it for an hour. I tried again on Wednesday and it didn't feel so suffocating that time, but it's hard to sleep on your side with something on your face! I used it for six hours, and last night I used it for 6.5 hours. I can't say I'm a huge fan of it, but I'm not fan of waking up because I've stopped breathing either. D: Maybe I'll feel less tired if I've used it long enough..

( aug 19-25 )

A book about or set in Hollywood: Once Upon a Time in Hollywood by Quentin Tarantino (June 30-July 9)

A book that started out as fan fiction: The Angel of the Crows by Katherine Addison (July 10-19)

A book about a family: Beyond the Sea of Ice by William Sarabande (July 20-27)

A book you read more than 10 years ago: My Side of the Mountain by Jean Craighead George (July 27-28). I loved this book when I was a kid, but as an adult it seems unrealistic..a 13-year-old city kid runs away to the forest and he can do everything from building a bed, making snowshoes, training a falcon, making elaborate dishes from ingredients from the forest, etc. It's still an interesting read though

A book with just text on the cover: Life on Delay: Making Peace with a Stutter by John Hendrickson (July 29-31). I may have a different disability (though I do stutter sometimes), but I still related to a lot of the things he talked about (speech therapy, bullying, being terrified to speak in front of the class and waiting until the last minute to take regular speech class, depression, The Look, OCD tendencies, etc). He wouldn't recognize himself without his stutter, just as I wouldn't recognize myself without autism..it's a gift and a curse lol. I think it makes us more empathetic and easier to interact with others with disabilities. "The Look" people give to him is of pity, mine is "ugh, what's wrong with her? Why is she so rude?" In both cases, people seem thrown off by our disabilities. It's not easy, but we always persevere!

( the topics )

Nature is beautiful, but it's also cruel..this weekend mom saw a bunch of ducks attack and kill another duck, and saw a dead baby duck in the water. There's been another duck hanging around that has deformed legs..we though he might have had fishing wire around his leg, but when dad caught him we saw he was just born with deformed legs. I probably shouldn't have, but I picked him up and he was in worse shape than I thought..he only really uses one leg to swim and just swims in circles, and when I put him down he couldn't stand on his legs at all. His wings were small and tattered..he's never be able to fly. He's bullied by the other ducks too..I felt bad for the poor thing (I'm surprised he had lived that long!). There was nothing we could do for the duck (I guess we could have called Fish and Game, but they probably would have just put him to sleep), so dad put him back in the lake and sat there with him for awhile. The duck definitely seemed very depressed and lethargic..he hasn't been seen since this weekend, so it's possible he died..he honestly would have died anyway, because he couldn't walk or fly, and he would have been in trouble when the lake freezes over. It's sad, but that is not a good way to live..I hope he's at peace now. I was sad all weekend because of this..it's hard seeing animals that are suffering :(

29 – Rain Day: Do you like rainy days? Does it rain a lot where you live? Have you ever been caught in a torrential downpour? I can, like after it's been hot for a long time, but not for weeks on end. It depends..there have been summers where it hardly rained at all, others it rained for weeks, and in between. August is usually our rainiest month. Yeah, that's always interesting haha..that happened once at the fair and got soaked :P

30 – Whistleblower Day: Part of living in a country with a fair rule of law is making sure that corruption and misconduct do not go unnoticed. A whistleblower is an individual who reports suspicious activity, such as violations, exploitation, misrepresentations, or other infractions. The activity may be within an organization, either public or private. If you witnessed, or were aware of, corruption and misconduct in your workplace, would you speak up about it, even if it meant potentially losing your job? Possibly..that would be a hard situation to be in..

31 – Picnic Month: July is national Picnic Month. Have you ever been on a picnic? Do you enjoy eating outdoors? If you were organizing a picnic, what foods would you bring? I have, even on a glacier! Sure, it can be nice. Bread rolls, for one

August 1 – World Wide Web Day: Think about how much of what you do each day you do online. If the internet disappeared tomorrow, how would that impact your life? How would you have to start doing things differently (or go back to a pre-internet way of doing things)? It would pretty much change life completely (maybe I'd get more housework done LOL). Everything would have to be done manually again..that would be hard lol