Mental illness

Today me and a volunteer were talking about mental illness..the director of the Soup Kitchen took his life a couple weeks ago (which is a couple doors down from us, and he used to shop at the bookstore..we were all sad :(), possibly because he stopped taking his meds. I was saying I did the same thing because I thought I was ok, which messed me up for years. I told her that 2015 was the worst year of my life..I had horrible thoughts and I was angry all the time. She said "you were definitely angry when I started volunteering..you would go 'meh' and ignore me when I said hi to you, and one day I asked how you were and you snapped at me and said 'I hate when people ask me that!!'" OMG..I was HORRIFIED!! I knew I was bad, but WOW. D: She knew I was struggling though (she and Becky were VERY worried), and she said now I'm a completely different, happier person and is glad we're friends now lol (I'm still embarrassed I did that though!). I told Becky because I thought she mind find it interesting too, and she was like "yeah, that's the year you hated everyone..we kept getting new volunteers and you just saw the bad in them. It was upsetting to me too!" I do remember that, and the bookstore manager at the time actually had to pull me aside and tell me to give them a chance. I can't believe I let myself get that bad! I must have been so unpleasant to be around lol. The situation with the Stone Soup director hit close to home for me, because that could have been me if I hadn't gotten help when I did (the closest I came was getting somewhat out of bed..it completely freaks me out to think about that D:). Crazy. I am so grateful for Prozac giving me my life back, I know people were very worried about me!

This morning a lady came in and was like "my brain isn't working right..I should be on meth, but it's illegal. I want to make Mexico the 53rd state so it will be legal!" Umm..ok. O_o She said she loved writing on her hand, and if she lived in Israel she would write the prayers on her hands so she could have something besides skin to wash off (me and Paulette: .....) and she just kept saying weird things. Paulette had to tell her to leave because I don't think she trusted her..she got angry and asked me "what is that lady's name that told me to leave?" Umm no, I wasn't going to say a word. She was like "you don't own the building. With or without your names, I'M GOING TO REPORT YOU!! I have advertising!" Eventually we got her to leave, and Paulette told me "if she comes back, come get me and we'll call 911." Wow. Today was very interesting lol

Today's trivia: The chainsaw first started out as a tool known as an osteotome, used for removing bone and to perform symphyiotomies (also known as Gigli’s Operation), the cutting of a woman’s pelvic ligaments to assist in childbirth (D: D:)