Oh no, I said too much, I set it up

On Sunday night I didn't sleep well, and I was busy all day, so when Donald came over, I told him I didn't really feel like watching anything (weirdly, he hadn't slept well either!), so we ate pizza and talked..I was telling him about autism, and how some days I'm tired and peopled-out and just want to hide in my apartment the rest of the day haha. I catch him just staring at me, and when I notice, he's like "you're so beautiful!" and says things like "I should shave my beard, so I will look nice for you." Ugh. I keep hoping staying silent will give him the hint that I don't want to be in a relationship, but apparently that's not working LOL. He invited me to his apartment so I could look at his movies and borrow some. Omg..I'm not a paragon of cleanliness or anything, but his apartment was a complete MESS..like he had food on the floor next to trash and who knows what, and it smelled funny. *SHUDDERS* No wonder he didn't mind my clutter. O_o If we have yearly inspections again, he is definitely not going to pass. I was relieved when I could get out of there :P

Yesterday he came to the bookstore with his mom, and my stomach dropped when I saw him..I should never have told him where I work LOL. When they went to check out, I suddenly just..couldn't talk properly. They mentioned the movie Mortal Engines, and when I tried asking if it was a post-apocalyptic movie, it came out as "is..it..a......post....apocalyptic movie? *cringe*" It took a huge amount of effort just to get "post-apocalyptic" out! "Weird," I thought, trying to recover, and then said "I don't necessarily like ...p..post...apoc...talyptic movies" (really starting to worry now!!). His mom mentioned it was a little violent, and when I tried saying that's not the reason I don't like them, it was more like "I...that's...I-I...n-not...uhh...why!" By this time, I was panicking and totally freaking out..the more I tried talking, the worse I got. It was SUPER embarrassing, and I wanted to just melt into the floor. I do tend to stutter when I'm nervous, but not THAT badly. O__o OMG. After they left, I was agitated, horrified, embarrassed (his mom must think I'm stupid!), and couldn't stop thinking about it the rest of the day. I also kept trying to say "post-apocalyptic" when I was calmer, but couldn't do it! I could barely do "p-p-osss.." WTF?? If THAT keeps happening, especially around his mom, I really don't want to hang out with him anymore. I should never have said yes in the first place..sigh. I guess I'll see what happens next time I see him lol (today I can say "post-apocalyptic" again..so weird!!)

Yesterday I saw a comment from someone that didn't want the covid vaccine because "it'll replace your human DNA with computer DNA! 666 is coming!" I REALLY want to believe they were joking, but I don't think they were..scary D:

The trees are leafing out and the birch pollen is "high," but weirdly, I haven't really been affected by it! Last year I was completely miserable, so I'm relieved lol

( may 8-12 )

Today's trivia: About eight percent of the Earth's crust is aluminum, making it the most abundant metal on the planet