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An excerpt from Fixin' to be Texan
Jun. 24th, 2008 10:27 amTexas Weather
It's hot--except when it's not.
You will find that Texas has very long summers, very short winters, and negligible springs and falls. Around October, you will become very tired of summer and wish that it would go away. Then one morning, you will awaken and it will be 40 degrees outside. All the leaves will have departed the trees overnight and will be sitting in the yard, demanding to be raked.
That was fall.
It will be semi-cold in November and somewhat colder in December, January, and February. (As a Texan, you should begin shivering when the thermometer drops below 40.)
A particularly strong cold wind is known as a blue norther. The north is to blame for everything bad that happens in Texas, including getting cold.
And now, we're going to have to talk about the s-word. No, not snake. SNOW--the substance that strikes terror in the hearts of all Texans. If you live in the Panhandle, you'll be surprised at how much of this stuff you'll see. Think about it: If they'd drawn the lines a little differently, you'd be living in Colorado. It's going to snow on you. Sorry.
If you live in the Dallas-Fort Worth area, it's likely to snow maybe once a year. It might accumulate an inch or less, unless it's an unusual year.
If you live in Houston, San Antonio, or points south, it is not supposed to snow on you at all. If it does, you have cause to weep copiously.
By now, if you are from the north, you are snorting. Snow, especially an inch or so, is no cause for alarm, you say. You are wrong.
( more )
Today's stupidest quote: We're not fooling around. We've got the bull by the tail and we're looking him straight in the eye (chief of the Anishnabe Nation Dave Courchene)
It's hot--except when it's not.
You will find that Texas has very long summers, very short winters, and negligible springs and falls. Around October, you will become very tired of summer and wish that it would go away. Then one morning, you will awaken and it will be 40 degrees outside. All the leaves will have departed the trees overnight and will be sitting in the yard, demanding to be raked.
That was fall.
It will be semi-cold in November and somewhat colder in December, January, and February. (As a Texan, you should begin shivering when the thermometer drops below 40.)
A particularly strong cold wind is known as a blue norther. The north is to blame for everything bad that happens in Texas, including getting cold.
And now, we're going to have to talk about the s-word. No, not snake. SNOW--the substance that strikes terror in the hearts of all Texans. If you live in the Panhandle, you'll be surprised at how much of this stuff you'll see. Think about it: If they'd drawn the lines a little differently, you'd be living in Colorado. It's going to snow on you. Sorry.
If you live in the Dallas-Fort Worth area, it's likely to snow maybe once a year. It might accumulate an inch or less, unless it's an unusual year.
If you live in Houston, San Antonio, or points south, it is not supposed to snow on you at all. If it does, you have cause to weep copiously.
By now, if you are from the north, you are snorting. Snow, especially an inch or so, is no cause for alarm, you say. You are wrong.
( more )
Today's stupidest quote: We're not fooling around. We've got the bull by the tail and we're looking him straight in the eye (chief of the Anishnabe Nation Dave Courchene)
