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These are actual excuse notes from parents (including original spelling) collected by Nisheeth Parekh, University of Texas Medical Branch at Galveston

My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute him
Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot
Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33
Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating
Please excuse Roland from PE for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip
Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part

Today's Latin: perscriptio in manibus tabellariorum (the check is in the mail)
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